Call me lost without you: Drivers christen their GPS systems

By Lauren Beckham Falcone, The Boston Herald

Finding just the right name for a new baby or pet can be a grueling pursuit - after all, the moniker has to match the personality. But the latest christening craze has nothing to do with finding the hottest baby handle.

People are naming their GPS systems.

“Mine’s Janet,” said David Yas, who named his car’s global positioning system after Joyce DeWitt’s character on “Three’s Company.”

His explanation?

“In a way, Janet was the GPS of that show,” said Yas, publisher of Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly, who revealed his predilection for the ’70s sitcom in a recent column. “What with Jack’s shenanigans and Chrissy’s ineptitude. She was the only one on the show with any direction.”



Ted Gartner, spokesman for GPS manufacturer Garmin International Inc., thinks it’s simply a matter of making something your own.

“I think people just feel like they need to personalize these things,” he said.

And to feel less alone, added Joe Tecce, psychology professor at Boston College.

“By naming the GPS, you’re taking a journey with someone,” he said. “It’s not a satellite that’s guiding you. It’s whomever you name it after - your mother, Clint Eastwood. You’re not by yourself anymore.”

Which is why Gartner, a self-described “typical guy,” doesn’t name his GPS “girls” for fear of attachment.

“I change them a lot because I test them out,” he said. “So I don’t want to get committed. But I will say, I have a great working relationship with all of them.”

That’s not the case with women. While men tend to be sweet to their GPS gals - the Tom Tom commercial features a man in love - women treat theirs like the competition.

“I don’t have a name but I do yell at her,” said Michelle Pol, 34, of Newton. “She doesn’t understand going two minutes out of our way to get to the highway is better than weaving through Harvard square. Stupid #%&.”

Kate Cavanaugh Johnson’s system got so huffy, she gave it an equally annoying name.

“We set our GPS to give us directions in a lovely British accent (because) the British can tell you to screw off and it will sound both highly intelligent and compassionate,” said the 29-year-old marketing manager from the North End. “So on our first outing, ‘she’ started to get under my skin. Ping, pong. ‘Turn right.’ Well, I couldn’t turn right so I headed straight thinking I could take the next right. Ping, pong. ‘Turn left.’ Well, I was getting ready to take my next right so I missed it and then she took a huffy tone with me. Ping, pong. ‘Turn around.’ So was born our own personal all-knowing British navigator Lady Marmalade.”

Real estate agent Kim Kasten decided on a kinder, gentler approach and decided two ladies in a car make for a bumpy ride. "My GPS is Richard,” said the 35-year-old from Upton. “I got to pick the voice from options, and I chose Richard since that is my husband’s name.”

In fact, to alleviate some of the stress of listening to the directional advice - really, no one ever likes to be told where to go - Garmin International offers more than two dozen named voices in dozens of different languages, such as Spanish Americans Javier and Paulina, Brits Daniel and Emily, French Canadians Felix and Julie, and Brazilian Raquel.

“It takes about 48 hours of recording every combination of syllables to get it done,” said “Australian Karen” Jacobsen, a voice-over actress.